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Our story seems like it started a lifetime ago. After getting married kind of late at 35 years old and having maternal feelings kick into high gear, getting pregnant was the next logical step. It seems I spent my whole life trying not to get pregnant—first college, the first job, then the entry into the corporate world but I was ready to be a mom. We began planning our family and immediately got pregnant. Wow that was easy! But the sad news is within 8 weeks I miscarried.

After 2 more years of trying, I resigned myself to the fact that we needed to go the fertility treatment route. It took eighteen more months but we finally became pregnant. With excitement, we went in for a routine check up only to find out that this baby was not meant to be. The pregnancy was not "viable" because my hormone levels were not adequately multiplying.  The doctor injected a drug known as Methatrexate into my system, to self abort to reduce the chances of my needing another D&C. The drug didn’t work and another dose was administered.

Jillian Nicole 3 years old, September 13, 2003 

I was concerned because I never did feel right after that but attributed it to the emotional roller coaster of losing this baby too. During my next checkup the doctor discovered a tiny but strong heartbeat. No one knew how but this baby survived all of this! The little trooper was holding on to life. But because Methatraxate is a drug given to treat uterine cancer patients, it causes severe birth defects. Although our hearts did not want to give up, we reluctantly scheduled a D&C and our little one left this world.

There were a few scares along the way. What should have been the most exciting times of our lives was filled with trepidation and fear. Some time passed and I began severely cramping. Everyone was concerned about whether I could hold onto this baby. My fears were soon put to rest when the results of the Amino test came back stating that I had a perfect—yes perfect-- little girl growing inside me!